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Watching them, I couldn’t always tell if they were being judgmental or celebratory. In the best episodes, Simonian has a subdued joy at being around chaos, like an anthropologist excited to join in the customs of a foreign land.
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54, turned out to be fairly tame - less guerrilla than some of the most memorable Sidetalks. While working, they commune through a mix of whispers and what seems like ESP, never losing their cool no matter how many times it takes Mo to nail the line. Byrne, who resembles a Kennedy and speaks in the octave of Sam Elliott, is the cameraman, but beyond that, it would be hard to pick apart who’s really doing what - they often finish each other’s sentences. Simonian, the one with a shock of black Timothée Chalamet hair, is the straight man on-camera.
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“If I don’t get your vote, don’t let me find out who you are, ’cause I’m comin’ ova there, I’mma crack yoo ova tha head with a loaf of sem-o-leeena!” Mo yells into the camera as he paces the length of Mulberry Street. On this particular afternoon, their subject is Lil Mo Mozzarella, a proudly Italian aspiring TikTok star who has taken his ostensible mayoral campaign to the streets of Little Italy with his Moncler puffer unzipped and his velvet track pants shimmering. You might meet a man named Jesus humping a tree in Central Park or a foulmouthed child talking about women with big butts. Each post begins with the familiar bing-bong sound of the subway’s “Stand clear of the closing doors” recording, but after that, you might find the sloe-eyed Simonian deadpanning into the camera as a disturbed woman screams about Jezebel’s children. It’s not what you might expect if you’ve ever seen an episode of their raucous one-minute Instagram show, Sidetalk. The Saturday in January is crystalline and frigid, but the two NYU students arrive with open puffer jackets, no gloves, and a “Let’s get right down to business” competence that makes it possible to forget they’re only 19.
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on the dot, just as they said they would. Trent Simonian and Jack Byrne show up at 12:30 p.m. Photo: Jamel Shabazz for New York Magazine Sidetalk’s Trent Simonian and Jack Byrne with their frequent guest Spider Cuz.
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